December 2013

Does the idea of Christmas and/or the holidays in general stress you out?   For me, it is December period.   I want to socialize,  do my shopping and miss nothing.   And of course give up none of normal routine.   You know.... The full time job,  three children, exercise routine and husband.  
I have decided this year I am going to do all the things that make me happy.   It may be that not everyone can keep up with me,  but isn't it time to do the things that make me happy?
I am 40 years old,  recently lost my best friend and it's time to do the things I want for one reason or another.  There is absolutely nothing holding me back but myself.  
What woke me up?  Watching other people lose control of their own lives, seeing people I love settle for being content, spending time with true friends and seeing some of my strongest friends make the hard decisions to grab their happiness.
I never want to make excuses for others again.   I never want to settle for content.   I want to face the hard decisions and make my own happiness.  After all,  isn't that the real lesson here?   Allowing yourself every happiness?   I truly think it is.   

Facebook Negative?

 
Facebook tends to be a source of many emotions.  Listening to a few people this last year and how Facebook effects them I decided it can, indeed, be very negative. 

Like many things in my world I have taken the time to review how it effects me, seeking positive only.

This is what I came up with:

Those that are allowing Facebook to be that negative source in their life obviously have the wrong people as their "friends".  These are the same people that choose to live a drama filled life and of course blame everyone but themselves for it.  I have found great support from my Facebook friends.  Take control of your life!  You can control your circle of friends, your family life and even your Facebook friends.  Make the courageous choice to be happy.  You will have to leave some people behind but I guarantee it is worth it.

Boys will be Boys

My son, Josh, was punched in the face by another 7th grade student last week.  Josh told me when he got home yet he made it seem unimportant, almost telling me in passing.  I did not think much more of it.  Then on Saturday I was at a 5th grade football game and three other 7th graders, two I don't even know, came over to tell me what happened.  I really was concerned, as boys will be boys, until I heard these words "he said he is going to kick Josh's ass when football is over".  This week is the final football game.  I take threats VERY seriously due to an event that occurred in the school last year.  Last year the result was that a kid was jumped by three other kids.

I am going to admit up front that my son is no angel.  I am completely aware that he is "my son" when it comes to attitude and voicing himself.

I decided that I would start with the football coach since they are teammates.  I left the coach an email that said:

Please call me before practice on Monday.  I will be contacting Dr. Bickel as well.

Dr. Bickel is the principal of the school.  Coach called me Sunday night.  He heard me out and vowed to handle this first thing on Monday.  I was completely comfortable with the fact that he had heard my concern.  I was sure to make it clear if this boy touched my kid again that I would call the police, not the school.

Monday came and I received a text from my son mid morning.  It said:

Kids are telling me that Coach thinks I threw punches too.  I didn't.

I realize that kids don't always tell the truth, however I believed my son due to a code we have in our home.  There is NO being LAZY or LYING.  Josh told me that he had called the kid names and they had been playing rough football, not touch.  I tried to address every avenue.  Josh had called the other boy names about being "big" or "fat".  My son doesn't understand how badly that could hurt as he is tall and scary thin.  So, I took a different approach.  I talked to Josh about one of his weaknesses and asked how that made him feel.  He looked right at me and said "you're right mom".  I talked to Josh about the possibility of getting hurt at lunch and not being able to play in the game.  Why take the chance, right?  I also talked to Josh about not knowing what else has happened in the other boys day.  We have no way of knowing what is going on in the other persons life.  Maybe he was already in a bad mood and Josh just pushed the right (in this case wrong) buttons.

After Josh's text I decided I needed to go to the school.  I went directly to the office and asked for Dr. Bickel.  She saw me immediately, including the vice principal as well.  I explained all that I knew to them.  I, again, made it clear that should the boy touch my son I would call the police, not the school.  I let them know that I did not feel comfortable due to a friend of Josh's being jumped last year (Dr. Bickel knew the incident I was speaking of).  And finally, I let them know that in my opinion there is never a reason for someone to put their hands on someone else.  By the end, I felt like I was heard but was unsure what was going to be done about it.

Josh came home from practice saying that the Vice Principal had talked to both boys and things were settled.  Tuesday morning the Vice Principal also called me to close the incident.  I don't think I have agreed more with an approach or been happier with a response from any school. 

Like I said, boys wills be boys, they will talk smack, act tough, protect themselves, push each other to far, etc.  I am OK with any and all of that.  What is NOT OK is taking it to the level this got to, especially when you are teammates. 

I am grateful that my son had friends to come to me and talk to me.  I am happy they felt they could come talk to me.  I am amazed how little some parents are involved with their kids.  I am taking pleasure in the fact that I taught my kids early that lying and lazy were not tolerated in our world.  My greatest wish is that they take that with them throughout life.
  

PPFS

I have spent the past 15 months working for Poudre Pet & Feed Supply.   When I originally interviewed it felt right immediately.   Let me completely honest and say that I would be paid much less than I am accustomed to if I chose to take this postion.  At the time it had the following Pros:

Close to home
Good hours
Free dog food

Obviously, I took the job.  

In the past 15 months I have realized the following additional Pros:

Family atmosphere
I can bring my dog to work
I love both my bosses like we have known each other for years
I am not only allowed time to go to zumba, but one of my bosses go with me
And finally I have witnessed the most giving spirits I have ever met

Last night 24 of the 42 employees went to a Gala/Auction event held by the Larimer Humane Society.  One of our amazing store managers had recently lost their dog.  This manager had seen the dog of her dreams upon arriving at the event.  The giving/loving owners of Poudre Pet & Feed out bid the entire room to have their choice of available adoptable animals.  Once they won the bid the "dream dog" was brought to owner Karen Horak.  Karen immediately took the leash and walked over to our newly dogless manager, Sara.  The exchange was nothing short of incredible.  Sara was in tears, Karen was in tears, I'm pretty sure all of us were in tears, as well as the entire room.

I have never met two more loving people than Karen Horak snd Karen Morris.  The relationships they build with their team is unmatched.

I feel blessed and thankful to have them in my entire families life and even more grateful to be part of their team.

Positive Ju-Ju

Have you ever had that friend that believes in the power of positive thinking so much that you start believing it also?  I have such a friend.  Honestly, it took me a while to buy into the whole deal, but I am a firm believer. 

Those of you that follow me know that I talk about my ups and my downs.  Fortunately, I have not had any downs for a while.  I made a real effort at removing people from my life that are negative, drama and/or contribute zero to our relationship.  I feel like we all treat our "partners" in life that way.  We expect the give and take.  Shouldn't that be true with all relationships?  Picture each relationship like it is a tetter-totter (TT); each person being on one side of the TT.  When you give, this means effort not material items, your side goes up and the other side goes down.  When they give back your side goes back down and theirs comes back up.  There should be some balance there.  Can you visually imagine it? 

I used this process to decide what relationships in my life were healthy.  Oddly some of the relationships I thought to be the closest were extremely out of balance.  Even if you try to validate it by saying "I'm a giver", it does not make it OK.  I thought these relationships were important because of the attention I gave them, not what we did for each other.  I immediate made a decision to remove those from my life that were grossly out of balance. 

I am not claiming this is an easy process, but do you want to know a secret?  Amazing things have been happening around and to me since I began doing this.  I have surrounded myself with positive, drama-free people that contribute to my life in the same manner.  Call it what you want, but it works.

So, Michelle, my BFF, thank you for shining the positive light in my life in a consistent fashion.  I may be slow, but when I get it, I really get it.  We have been through much together, good and bad, and have always come out stronger.  You not only light up my life (everyone break into song), you also light up my heart.  I love you.

The Day After

I spent my blog time yesterday really reflecting on where I am in life.  Thinking back to where I was this time last year I had an overwhelming feeling of being blessed, grateful and thankful. 

I was in the right place at the right time when I began Zumba.  I remember walking in and feeling overwhelmed with how many people were there, wondering if they were watching me mess up (actually now I know it is just called learning) and hoping I could do it.  Let me just say now we are the overwhelming ones, I don't care who is watching and I DID IT!  This is not why I believe I was in the right place at the right time.  I talked about my Zumba family in yesterdays blog.  I am unable to find the words to explain what happened after I shared that blog.  Yes, I will still try.........

I get to Zumba early every class.  I like the "family time".  As I sit on the stage talking, sharing, laughing who appears?  My new running trainer, Meagan.  I wish I could explain what her energy does for me.  Anyone that knows me knows that I am full of fun and laughter, a bit of a goof off.  Meagan brings this positive energy that I want to bottle and sell.  She is literally just as excited for/with me.  She jumps into the seat next to me and passes me a folder.  Nervous?  I was.  Why?  I had a funny felling it is my new training schedule.  Guess what?  It was!  Meagan created something that seems so DOABLE.  I got more excited.  In addition she provided me with a gift card for my first pair of "real" running shoes.  Unbelievable, loving spirit......

Then we Zumba, after all that is why we are there.  We have a blast, especially my PIC (partner in crime), Jean, and I.  Before the final stretch song someone turns off the music and Jean gets on stage.  I assumed it was for an update from the Alzheimer's event we did with Jean and Nancy the prior weekend.  It was, but in additional Jean made a speech about me, my blog and our friendship.  Here is where the "in the right place at the right time" comes in.  Jean started Zumba the same time I did.  We have an unbelievable bond that can only be describe with one word, family.  Jean did such a fabulous job with raising money for the Alzheimer's event that she won a prize.  The prize was a cruise for two.  Fabulous right?  As we all revel in her excitement Jean says she wants to give this trip to me, me, yes, she just said me.  I would love to recite all the wonderful words Jean said about me, yet that just seems conceited, LOL.  I felt shock, amazement, love and gratefulness all at once. 

My best friend always tells me that positive ju-ju brings more positive.  She is so right!  The last year working on myself was worth it when I look around at my surroundings now. 

I love you my Zumba family.  Jean - you mean the world to me and I am forever grateful to have you and Nancy in my life.  Meagan - I am convinced you were brought into my world as a gift and I plan to keep this gift forever.  Dianne (my loving instructor) - if I could model myself after someone it would be you.  The life light that you shine is so positive.  I am forever grateful that I walked into your class.

New Goals

The last year has been full of change in more ways than I care to explain.   The most specific change within my control had been mine and mine alone, my health.  
I learned how harsh a negative surrounding can be in you inside and out.   Once I learned that it was up to me, and only me, to correct it.
To begin I only made weight goals yet quickly learned that was not enough.   It is about what is on the inside of you, as well as what is shared by the others around you.  
I found the most amazing group of woman that I now consider my zumba family.   The support they have given me had kept me strong and certain.   The leader of this family is our instructor, mama bear, Dianne.   I am positive if I had any other instructor to start I would not have been hooked so quickly.   Dianne is full of love and life. The best thing. ... she shares all of that with us.   I wake up Monday-Wednesday-Friday so excited to spend the morning with my family.  Thursday night class has become the icing on the cake.   I don't have the words to thank Dianne and my Zumba family for all the love and support they have given me.   It has resulted I'm doing 27 lbs, no longer needed blood pressure meds and searching for that next goal.
In walks another zumba family member, Meagan.   Meagan is one of those women that is gorgeous inside and out.   She is in tremendous shape and has a beauty queen face.  Meagan has taken me to my next goal. ...running.   I have wanted to do it,  but honestly was not sure where to start.   This fabulous lady,  who is a runner, is creating me a training schedule to become a runner.  Who does that?  Only the right, positive people that belong in your life.
I'm looking forward to the next year working towards my goals with my amazing support.

I'm so grateful.

Changing Your Life

Clearly there is two ways to look at every situation.  Making the conscious decision to look at the positive in everything can be difficult, however it is most rewarding.

I was told recently that I needed to start thinking with my eyes and less with my heart.  I don't think that is true.  Although I love the person who said it to me and love even more that they were looking out for me in telling me, I choose to be the way I am. 

As I have learned from writing my book, I created me.  I would not change the experiences, big or small, that molded me into the person I am today.  I am strong, independent, loving and a true friend to those I call friend.  I must be doing something right because when I look around me I have some amazing people in my life.  Some have been here the whole time, some are back and some are new.  Regardless they are there and there for a reason. 

The trait I am still trying to master is absorbing the love I am given.  I can freely admit that I am a giver, however I do not easily receive.  I also don't trust easily.  If someone has my trust they have earned it.  I firmly believe that is OK, everyone should take the time to feel comfortable in every situation.  I know that I am this way because of my past and the individuals that have let me down in life.  I have gotten much better at allowing people to earn my trust.  I also disconnect from those who prove they are not trustworthy. 

Creating a life circle that is full of positive people and actions is healthy.  I never realized how easily negativity from someone in your circle can affect the whole.  I choose to let go of those people.  That is the best thing I can do for my health.

Summer

This summer has been flying by.  I had a terrific stay-cation thanks to friends that lent is their beautiful home.  My youngest two children and I did things around our home that we have been talking of doing and never made time to do so.  
One day we went to Estes Park and ride horses.   Neither Josh or Kayla had ever been horse back riding before.   I don't think I have read a horse since I was 12 years old.   Josh, 12, tried to act super cool and for on the horse like a pro. Kayla, 9, was a little more timid but for on and made herself comfortable.   It was a great time and a gorgeous day.
Another day we went yo Water World near Denver.  Let me tell you. ..I have been to several water parks and this one takes the cake.   My mom joined us and even ride a ride.   It was a wonderful day.
I think stsy-cations are the way to go.   I was relaxed and not exhausted when it was time to go back to work.
My only mistake was going out with my girlfriend the night before returning to work.   Had a blast and paid for it!
I'm thinking one stsy-cation a year. Try it!

Decisions

My husband made a decision for me today that although I know it is the right decision it is really difficult.
Previously I have talked about some of the stales and issues I have come across writing my book.   There is no possible way to explain what I have been going through without giving away to much about my book.   Let's just say that reliving the past can be therapeutic,  it can also create horrible memories.   These memories have kicked my anxiety into high gear.  
Caring about my health and well being my husband has put a stop to my road trip to California next week.   I can't imagine having an attack with only my two youngest children with me.
My heart breaks that I do not get my bff time but I have to agree that my health comes first. 

Relax

It is so unbelievable how important balance is.   You can go through the motions of every day and suddenly it comes on..... That feeling that you are not in control.   To a person like me,  a control freak,  it is almost to much to take.
I remember when I could talk myself out of feeling this way. 
I have chalked this feeling up to all of the emotions ib am going through writing my book.   Although I strongly dislike how I am going,  what I am remembering and reliving, I truly believe that completing the first book will be better than any therapy.
What is even more difficult is not having my number one fan and the person that would understand all of this around to help me through it all.
Let me refer back to my "everything happens for a reason" belief.   I will stand by that in the hopes that it all becomes clear in the future.

Lessons in Friendship

I have had some amazing things happen in the last few weeks.  Things that are not all necessarily good but the lesson in it was helpful and educational. 

I think we tend to forget who is there for us until they need us or we need them.  True friends come out of the wood works during those times.  Not that they were hiding before.  It isn't mandatory to be in someones every day life to have a strong connection and attachment.  On the flip side there are people that go from being in our lives daily and they just disappear.  To me, that is their choice.

Recently I asked a friend of mine to describe me.  This individual has known me for well over 20 years.  His description?  "An amazing person that if you are lucky enough for her to call you friend is loyal to the end".  I found those to be the kindest words I have ever heard.  I then asked someone the same question that has known me for about a year.  His description?  "A strong, out-going, independent and beautiful woman".  Although I do not hate this description I see the difference, do you? 

A close friend of mine has been going through a rough change in her life.  She is a strong, proud and loving woman.  Sometimes I feel as if she does not feel she has others to lean on.  I am SO incredibly glad I took the time to push her to sharing with me.  Not only did she get through the issue, but we both found ourselves back where we belonged, as friends, true friends.

I have been saying for years that I will not chase people to be in my life.  Although this approach can hurt sometimes, I have found it be more rewarding in the long run.  Two way relationships are the only ones that survive.  If someone wants to be in your life and wants you in theirs they will put out just as much energy as you do to make it happen.

I also received some helpful advice recently.  It came from a source I have not seen in over 20 years.  It was simple advice, having to do with me writing my book, but it was advice I needed.  I am so grateful for those in my life.  Thank you.

Control

Unable to control all that is going on around me is a terrible feeling.  I suppose I never thought myself to be a control freak.  Don't get me wrong, I am completely aware of my ability to control things, it is the fact that I was unaware of how strongly I needed to do so. 

Have you ever heard the bath tub theory?  Years ago my doctor told me that I had a large bath tub. I could handle a great deal of things at once.  I was able to juggle many things.  Unfortunately it came to a point where my bath tub was over flowing and I had zero additional capacity.  I had to find a way to release some of the water in my tub. 

This brings up so many things.  Not just the control issue but also the fact that I am the type of individual that likes to handle things as they come.  I have many people around me that are more the "ignore it and it will go away" types.  Nothing annoys me more.  Had I been able to handle many all of the issues around me I do not think I would be in the place I sit today........overwhelmed.

My decision?  Massage.  Today I am getting a massage.  Perhaps then I can think straight and attack one item at a time.  Wish me luck!

I love you, Good Night

My daughters Mother's Day poem:

I love you like I love spring

I love you like I love the movie "Zing"

I love you like bunnies love to sleep

I love you like bugs love to peep

I love you like soup loves to simmer

I love you like snow loves to shimmer

I love you like ice cream loves a scooper

I love you like heroes love to be super

I love you like sprinkles love to sprinkle

I love you like stars love to twinkle

I love you like sleigh bells love to jingle

I love you like friends love to mingle

I love you like the moon at night

big and round and warm and bright

By, Kayla Harrison (4th Grade)

Frustration

Do you ever feel like maybe you have put to much on your own plate of life? 

I have made some specific goals for myself in 2013.  Although I am doing extremely well in the me "better health" department, I feel like my writing has been put aside a bit.  It is time really that I am lacking.  Exercise has fit into my life with ease.  I go to zumba 4-5 times a week.  Believe it or not, my boss goes with me so I never feel badly for leaving work.  Side Note:  I have NEVER had a job with a boss that is so incredibly supportive of me completely - work and personally.  She, Karen, literally said to me "I never want you to feel like you can't do the things to better your health.  That comes first".  I know, you all want to work for her now, don't you? 

When I went to zumba the first time I felt out of place and nervous, yet I completely enjoyed it.  I, somehow, convinced myself to keep going back for another class.  I began this in November 2012.  I was going once a week, if I could.  The more I went the more I liked it.  The biggest hurdle was learning the moves.  Once I had that down, I was HOOKED! 

Like everyone does, I made a new years resolution to work out more and get in shape.  I had not really defined what that looked like in my life.  Then, one day I got my boss to go to zumba with me.  She LOVED it!  It was then and there that I told myself I was going to do this 3 times a week.  I did that all of January and February.  March I kicked it up to 4 times a week and I have been doing that ever since.  I have gone down three dress sizes and I feel fantastic.  Oddly, that is the best thing that came from this.  The friends I have made a zumba are irreplaceable.  They all have their reasons for being there but regardless we all support each other, daily.  I think this may have been what I was missing.  I like the social aspect of zumba, they are like family.

Where does the frustration come in? 

The other part of my new years resolution was to continue and share my writings.  I did not take into account how difficult it was going to be to relive some of the emotions that go with the book I am writing.  These emotions have set me back, several times.  I have, so far, been able to get myself moving again yet it gets more and more difficult. 

So here is what I have decided.  I have been sharing my old writings and trying to work on my book also, so maybe I can use my blog as my outlet of emotions in order to keep moving forward.  Like today, I felt very frustrated that I had not gotten to my blog, but even more that I have been stuck on Chapter 5 of my book for some time. 

I am open to comments, suggestions, support in whatever form.  Moving forward is my only option to keeping my own promise to myself.

Cowgirl Boots

Have you ever bought something that makes you feel absolutely fantastic when you wear it?  I have and I did.  My Madden Girl boots make me feel like a million dollars.  This is not something I would usually buy, nor wear.  I decided I wanted them to go dancing, yet I was unable to convince myself to spend the money to wear these boots only to dance.  In comes my best friend.  She was there when I tried the lovely boots on and what does she say?  "You can wear those to work".  Damn right I can.  Why didn't I think of that?  I work for a feed store, HELLO? 

Of course I wore the boots to dance on Saturday night.  The boots did not hurt my feet.  I could of danced all night.  The down side, I was much shorter......

So, today I wear my boots to work.  I received so many compliments.  I think I was meant to be a cowgirl.  Dang it, I missed my calling.  I intend to make up that time this year, the year I turn 40!!

Moral to the story?  Buy those boots and meet us on the dance floor.

BFF Weekend

When we moved to Colorado from California, about seven years ago, my husband promised me and my best friend that he would still send me to see her a couple times a year.  No matter what else is going on in our world he has always made that happen.  My best friend, Michelle, and I have worked very hard at getting as much time together as possible.  She travels a lot for work but always makes time for us.  Our "for sure" months are always January and November, our birthdays.  This is the first trip in A VERY LONG TIME that I have had a job plus a life, therefore could take time off while she is here and not feel guilty for it.  Speaking about my job warrants it own blog that we will get to another day.

Michelle got here late Thursday night, well I guess Friday morning, 1:30 am.  We slept in Friday and then went for a highly enjoyable BFF breakfast.  We relaxed for a bit and then went to Massage Envy for a two hour, that is right I said two hour, massage.  Yes, we suffer like this often.  Friday night we had a few drinks with a friend of mine, Trish, then picked up another friend of mine, Sonia, and off to the greatest concert this side of Denver, Salt n Pepa, Coolio, Doug E Fresh and Slick Rick.  Don't be jealous.  It was four hours of amazing music and dancing like we never danced before.

We slept in a bit Saturday and then went out to breakfast again.  The best part of the day was shopping.  This has got to be one things that BFF's should always do together.  Shopping made me happy as my Zumba craziness showed that it was truly paying off.   I dropped two sizes.  I need that motivation to keep the fire under my own ass.  Let me tell you I needed to fell the results as it is hard to tell when you see yourself daily.  Saturday night Sonia, Michelle and I went out dancing.  What an absolute blast!  A girl could not have two better PICs.

Today is Sunday, family day.  My dad made breakfast for all of us.  This is Michelle's staple on her visits.  Dad must make her some chorizo n eggs, hashbrowns, refried beans and tortillas.  He never disappoints.  The rest of the days we spent watching movies, I took a nap and just relaxing.  I needed a day like this.

Although tomorrow will be sad because my BFF has to go home we will make the best of it.  We will have another massage, some lunch and of course some Zumba. 

Nothing is better than my BFF time.  I look forward to it when it isn't here and I absorb it all I can when it is here.  I feel truly blessed to have someone so amazing in my life that loves me unconditionally.  No matter what is in my brain, how I am feeling, I know that I have a person out there that I can call on and trust. 

Truly grateful for everything in our life that has gotten us here.

Happy Anniversary

13 years ago today I said "I do" with the man of my dreams.  Before I met him I was convinced I would never get married and never have more children.  Not for the lack of men in my life, it was the lack of desire.

A friend of mine had signed up for Match.com and was positive it was the key to finding a good man.  I did not necessarily agree or care.  You see, I had a boyfriend at the time.  He lived in several hours for me and I only had to see him a couples times a month.  This type of relationship was perfect for me.  I was terribly low maintenance and I had zero desire to be a serious relationship.  He had a child, I had a child and we did not include them in our relationship. It was perfect.

Then my friend, lets call her Debbie, put that bug in my ear about Match.com.  I did not want to sign up and at that time you could look through profiles without having to pay.  I read at least 200 profiles for men in my area.  I honestly do not even remember what criteria I used to find my "match".  Out of all of those profiles I sent a message to one, yes just one, and that one person is my now husband, Richard Harrison.  He answered my message and from that day on we emailed every day for months.  It eventually grew into telephone conversations and at some point we decided to meet.  From memory I think it was tax season, March, when we first started communicating.  In July we decided it was time to meet.

We lived an hour apart.  I arranged for my son to stay with my parents and was going to head to Richard's house right after work.  I got home after work, to get ready, to a message from Richard on my answering machine (does anyone own one of those anymore?).  Richard was nervous and freaking out a little bit about us meeting.  I decided I was going anyway.  I was nervous also, but more anxious. 

I got in the car, turned on the radio and off I went.  The closer I got to his home the more nervous I became.  I parked outside his house, took a deep breathe and got out of the car.  As I walked up to the door I could feel my heart beating in my chest.  I knocked, waited.  Richard opened the door, smiled and said "lets get this over with" and kissed me.  Romantic right?  LOL  Let me tell you, the kiss was good, but he was right to do it, I felt so much better after.

There is so much to tell from then on, however I am going to save that for another time.  One thing I remember is my mom telling me she knew he was the one.  Why you ask?  She said because he wouldn't let me walk all over him.  You know what?  She was right.

Softball

It's tough, it's hard, it makes you mad

Other times it makes you glad

To work hard and get it done

Can often times be real fun

You have to want to be the best

To pass Coach Yoshihara's test

Run and sweat is the way you pay

Often it's what gets you up each day

If you do all you have to do

You will be one of the best, real soon.

I wrote this for my old softball coach in high school.  Loraine Yoshihara was one of the most passionate, driven and talented coaches I have ever met.  She knew exactly how to bring the best out of her players.  She also allowed you to believe in yourself.  Thank you Yosh.

Unplanned Weekend

I had big plans for this last weekend, which I did none of.  I had been suffering from a migraine for several days and on Friday it decided to take me down.  I arranged to have Friday off as my brother and his family were coming to town.  I managed to make it through zumba, lunch with my husband, movies with the kids and even dinner with the family Friday night.  When I made it home I crashed.  I had taken pain pills at my moms house, therefore unable to drive.  My husband got me home, I took more pain pills and tried to go to sleep.  NO SUCH LUCK!  The pain pills must have been some generic brand.  They made me itch from the inside out.  I took Benadryl to combat that madness.  Moral to the story, I did not sleep Friday night. 

Honestly, I do not remember much of Saturday.  I was miserable between the headache and the itching.  My brother, his wife and my mom came and got my kids to take them out bowling and to lunch.  The plan for Saturday night was to go dancing, obviously we did not do that.  I certainly didn't.  At the time I guess I did not know if everyone else went out or not. 

Sunday I slept until noon or so.  Got out of bed in time for my sister in law to come over and do my hair.  I felt so horrible that I was not very good company.  She got my hair done, cut my daughters hair and even trimmed my youngest sons hair.  My brother took all the boys to an indoor football game.  Yes, a lot of plans, none included me.  Migraines stink! 

Today, Monday, I feel better.  I still have a headache and I am incredibly tired.  I took one extra day to get myself 100%.  I slept in this morning, took more pain meds and rested all day.  My oldest son was nice enough to get me food and drink.  With my last bit of energy I am writing this.  Guess what is next.......a nap.

Live and Learn

 
I have been having profound emotions with the beginning of writing my book.  I am positive that writing about it all will also be tremendous therapy for me.  Perhaps I have been overly sensitive lately, yet something happened this week that I just had to share.

A friend of mine is getting married.  He called me before he even proposed to tell me how he was going to do it.  He was excited, I was excited and I could not wait to watch them exchange vows.  Since we have not seen each other in a while I even asked if I would be invited (you never know what type of wedding someone is having or how many people will be invited).  He told me "of course".  A few months later he and his now fiance came over to have dinner at our house.  We had a good time talking about old times, the wedding and everything else under the moon.  Again, we were told "of course" we are invited.

After the dinner together I tried to be better at maintaining communication with my friend, as he and I both admitted we had not done the best at that.  You see we use to work together, but neither of us work at that company anymore.  I would leave little notes on his facebook, just so he knew I was thinking of him, even if I did not have the time to call and have a full blown conversation.  After two of these messages the fiance started posting crazy comments on her facebook that I could only assume were about me.  Things like "don't you hate it when people pay more attention to your fiance than you do" blah blah, madness.  I backed off a little thinking she was just crazy swamped with wedding planning.

A few weeks ago I saw the fiance post that the invitations had gone out in the mail.  I was so excited to see it, read it and of course RSVP.  A week passed, no invite.  Then she posted that they had received their first RSVP, still no invite.  I am not the type to "stew" on things so I contacted my friend.  I asked him straight up "Are we invited"?  He gave me this long answer that was basically "No".  I gave it a little thought and I understood if someone is limited on funds, space, whatever.  My husband and I really limited our wedding to who fit on the cliff with us (35 or so people).  What upset me is how I found out.  He could have shot me an email, text, facebook message, anything just saying that they could not make it happen due to funds.  Anyone would understand that. 

The next thing I know, the same day, I get an insane facebook message from the fiance.  She attacked everything about me.  My friendship with her fiance, me going to zumba, my facebook posts, my blog, whatever she could think of.  It was an easy decision to unfriend them both and block her completely.  Is she truly this insecure?  What a sad sad series of events. 

I truly wish him the best, it will take some work with her at his side.  He has goals, he is highly intelligent and a great dad. 

I will miss his friendship, but not enough to accept her drama into my life.  Live and learn.

Reduced Fat Enchiladas

  

Ingredients

• 2 half chicken breasts on the bone with skin (remove skin before adding to enchiladas)
• 1 (16 oz.) red enchilada sauce (no sugar added)
• 1 (4 oz.) can green chile peppers
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon cumin
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese, reduced fat
• 1 (8 oz.) container sour cream, fat free
• 6 medium whole wheat tortillas, low sodium if possible (corn tortillas are not recommended as they tend to fall apart)

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place chicken breast on the bone, with skin, in a covered baking dish, bake until juices run clear when pierced with a fork, about 45 minutes. Chicken should have reached an internal temperature of 165 degrees. Allow to cool. Remove skin and bones, discard. Shred chicken or cut into bite size cubes.

In a medium mixing bowl, add chicken, garlic powder, cumin, chili powder, black pepper and salt to taste. Add to seasoned chicken, green chile peppers, 1/2 cup of enchilada sauce, 1/2 cup sour cream and 1 cup cheese, mix well. Place 1/2 cup chicken mixture in the center of each tortilla, leave about 2” at the bottom without filling and fold up...continue until all tortillas are filled.

Lightly spray the bottom and sides of the slow cooker with nonstick cooking spray. Lay enchiladas seam side down in the slow cooker, add a little of the sauce above to each layer as you stack them. There should be 2 layers of 3 or 3 layers of 2, depending on the size of your slow cooker.

Combine the remaining enchilada sauce and 1/2 cup sour cream. Pour over the enchiladas, cover and cook on low 3-4 hours, or until hot and bubbly. Cut between each enchilada and carefully remove, one at a time, with a large spatula. Pour liquid from slow cooker over enchiladas and sprinkle with remaining cheese. Garnish with diced tomatoes and shredded lettuce. 

Yields: 6 servings | Serving size: 1 enchilada | Calories: 249 | Previous Points: 5 | Points Plus: 6 | Total Fat: 6 g | Saturated Fats: 2 g | Trans Fats: 0 g | Cholesterol: 26 mg | Sodium: 470 mg | Carbohydrates: 31 g | Dietary fiber: 2 g | Sugars: 0 g | Protein: 18 g 

*** I have not tried this yet, but it looks and sounds delicious.  If you are able to try before me, let me know your thoughts.  ***

Choices

January 3, 2013

Today I am concentrating on choices.  I wish I had done this years ago.  I, personally, need to work on how I absorb the information around me and how I allow the actions of others to effect me or not.  The most important aspect?  Consider the source.  It is important to know those within your circle so you are able to respond properly to what is going on. 

I am pretty set in my ways.  What do I meant by that?  I mean that Yvonne is not going to change depending on who she is with that day.  I can, however, learn about those I am with as to not hurt anyone unintentionally.  I cannot expect them to know who I am or even accept who I am.  This burden is on me.

Obviously I need to think this through.  The last thing I want is to create unreasonable expectations for those who share their life with me.

Happy New Year

January 2, 2013

I read something that said with every end there is a new beginning.  I AGREE!  Although 2012 was challenging in many ways I know that I came out of it a better, happier person. 

I had decided that I was not going to make a New Years Resolution, instead I was making a plan for 2013.  I also decided I was not going to make some plan/goal that was unrealistic, thus setting myself up for failure.  I am a winner, a person that reaches their goals.  I look forward to watching my own progress this year and sharing it with you.  This year is not about losing weight, it is about implementing the changes in my life needed to be the person I know I am.  In order to follow the change I have this blog.  I will be taking a picture a day, as well as documenting my days.  I am convinced that utilizing my passion, writing, will be a huge step in the right direction.

New Years Eve was spent with friends and family.  I am so incredibly grateful to have ALL of them in my life.  I missed having my brother with me this year.  Honestly, having a younger brother (12 years younger) keeps me young.  Goodness knows I can't let him beat me at anything, including drinking.  By the way, he usually wins..........but it is fun trying to keep up.

My best friend was here for NYE as well.  There is not a better way to start a new year than with someone that already makes you a better person. 

2013 promises to be amazing.  Just remember in all of your resolutions to create something that is attainable.  Do not set yourself up for failure, you deserve to feel the accomplishment - mentally and physically.

Happy New Year Everyone.  Remember to love, laugh and live!