Monday, May 20, 2013

Control


Unable to control all that is going on around me is a terrible feeling.  I suppose I never thought myself to be a control freak.  Don't get me wrong, I am completely aware of my ability to control things, it is the fact that I was unaware of how strongly I needed to do so. 

Have you ever heard the bath tub theory?  Years ago my doctor told me that I had a large bath tub. I could handle a great deal of things at once.  I was able to juggle many things.  Unfortunately it came to a point where my bath tub was over flowing and I had zero additional capacity.  I had to find a way to release some of the water in my tub. 

This brings up so many things.  Not just the control issue but also the fact that I am the type of individual that likes to handle things as they come.  I have many people around me that are more the "ignore it and it will go away" types.  Nothing annoys me more.  Had I been able to handle many all of the issues around me I do not think I would be in the place I sit today........overwhelmed.

My decision?  Massage.  Today I am getting a massage.  Perhaps then I can think straight and attack one item at a time.  Wish me luck!

Sunday, May 12, 2013

I love you, Good Night



My daughters Mother's Day poem:

I love you like I love spring
I love you like I love the movie "Zing"

I love you like bunnies love to sleep
I love you like bugs love to peep

I love you like soup loves to simmer
I love you like snow loves to shimmer

I love you like ice cream loves a scooper
I love you like heroes love to be super

I love you like sprinkles love to sprinkle
I love you like stars love to twinkle

I love you like sleigh bells love to jingle
I love you like friends love to mingle

I love you like the moon at night
big and round and warm and bright

By, Kayla Harrison (4th Grade)

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Frustration



Do you ever feel like maybe you have put to much on your own plate of life? 

I have made some specific goals for myself in 2013.  Although I am doing extremely well in the me "better health" department, I feel like my writing has been put aside a bit.  It is time really that I am lacking.  Exercise has fit into my life with ease.  I go to zumba 4-5 times a week.  Believe it or not, my boss goes with me so I never feel badly for leaving work.  Side Note:  I have NEVER had a job with a boss that is so incredibly supportive of me completely - work and personally.  She, Karen, literally said to me "I never want you to feel like you can't do the things to better your health.  That comes first".  I know, you all want to work for her now, don't you? 

When I went to zumba the first time I felt out of place and nervous, yet I completely enjoyed it.  I, somehow, convinced myself to keep going back for another class.  I began this in November 2012.  I was going once a week, if I could.  The more I went the more I liked it.  The biggest hurdle was learning the moves.  Once I had that down, I was HOOKED! 

Like everyone does, I made a new years resolution to work out more and get in shape.  I had not really defined what that looked like in my life.  Then, one day I got my boss to go to zumba with me.  She LOVED it!  It was then and there that I told myself I was going to do this 3 times a week.  I did that all of January and February.  March I kicked it up to 4 times a week and I have been doing that ever since.  I have gone down three dress sizes and I feel fantastic.  Oddly, that is the best thing that came from this.  The friends I have made a zumba are irreplaceable.  They all have their reasons for being there but regardless we all support each other, daily.  I think this may have been what I was missing.  I like the social aspect of zumba, they are like family.

Where does the frustration come in? 

The other part of my new years resolution was to continue and share my writings.  I did not take into account how difficult it was going to be to relive some of the emotions that go with the book I am writing.  These emotions have set me back, several times.  I have, so far, been able to get myself moving again yet it gets more and more difficult. 

So here is what I have decided.  I have been sharing my old writings and trying to work on my book also, so maybe I can use my blog as my outlet of emotions in order to keep moving forward.  Like today, I felt very frustrated that I had not gotten to my blog, but even more that I have been stuck on Chapter 5 of my book for some time. 

I am open to comments, suggestions, support in whatever form.  Moving forward is my only option to keeping my own promise to myself.