Monday, August 17, 2020

Unbearable


I can't take more loss.  

I have always been the type that just barrels through, but this one, this one I can't take.  

I thought losing my mom was hard but this - this is unbearable.  

I replay it all in my head, constantly.  Is it possible that I am truly am in this alone?  Did I learn all my lessons to late?  Did I really hurt him more than he loves me?

What is more crazy is how much I have forgiven, overlooked, accepted - all because of the love I carry.

They don't teach you this in school.  I have given it all I have, spoken all my truth, apologized and acknowledged my wrongs - I am simply not worth it.


Sunday, August 16, 2020

God

I am really not sure what I did to deserve this.   Everyone makes mistakes, why am I the only one never forgiven?