Telesis

Telesis.  Do you remember this word?  It was in a major commercial years ago.  I remember thinking it was a very odd commercial.  I can't even remember what the commercial was for or about.  What I do know is that Telesis means "progress intelligently planned", per that commerical.  Don't worry, I have a point.

I need to know what the opposite of telesis is.  I am making tremendous progress, however I have no plan and certainly not an intelligent one.  I'm thinking that this is normal.  Who plans to suddenly become single at 40?  Not me.  For years I told my mom that I would never get married.  I already had a son, at 18, and in my head it worked like this......when is is 18, I am 36......SCORE!  My exact words to my mom was "marriage is death".  Looking back, how rude was I?  My parents are still married, ugh.

When I did decide to get married I fully intended for it to be forever.  I would not of said yes had I thought any differently.  I had been proposed to twice before and knew it was not "the one".  Clearly something went wrong.

A couple of months ago my 10 year old daughter asked me if I would want her to stay in a relationship like my marriage.  I am always honest with my children, I honestly said no.  She was right.  I don't want to be that example to my daughter.  She deserves a better role model.

Without any intelligent plan, I decided that it was time to do what makes me happy.  Every day is a struggle. Every night is long.  Yet by the end of this I want to be able to say I thought it all through and made positive progress.  That is all the telesis I need.