Positive Steps

I didn't want to get up this morning.  I finally slept and it felt amazing.  Although I would of preferred to sleep in when I heard my alarm clock, I got up.  There was much to be done today.  I got myself ready and headed into work.  I got involved and when I looked up it was time to go to zumba.  Those of you that know me know that zumba is a very important part of my day.  I am pretty sure it is important to everyone around me also.

Zumba was with an instructor that is not at the top of my list.  I have resigned myself to the fact that she is a fill in for our Super Zumba Instructor, Dianne, and I just needed to suck it up and dance.  So, that is exactly what I did.  I had hundreds of things rushing through my head during zumba.  I did not get any of it figured out, but zumba flew by.

After zumba I made a call to a house I wanted to view.  My mom was nice enough to come with me.  I warned her that I was moody.  I really was just read to cry for anything today.  One thing at a time, that is all I kept telling myself.  The first place we looked at made me feel like the walls were closing in on me, however it had an amazing back yard.  The second house we looked at grabbed me from the outside and sold me on the inside.  It was everything I wanted, plus.  The neighborhood is incredible and the yard was big enough to use but not so big that I could not keep it up myself.

After working things out with my significant other I let the landlord of the second house know that we wanted the house.  He was just as excited as me.  Thank goodness for some celebration, I needed that.  One positive step forward.

I think that this step made everything real.  This is actually happening to me, my husband and I are separated. I don't believe I ever thought it would get here.  I was positive, even four years ago, that he would love me enough to change and rejoin our family.  There are just some things that have happened now that he can never take back and I don't know that I will ever forget.  I forgive him and I even forgive myself, but it is time for us both to be happy.  I see great friendship with him in my future.  I pray that is true.