Struggling

Struggling is the best word to describe what I am going through right now.  I am working so hard to do what works for others, being that I am the one being blamed for all of these changes.  I just want it to go as smoothly as possible.  Watching others hurt is seriously the hardest thing.  I just want to make the pain go away.

Don't mistake my smile for "everything is great".  I am just trying to get through this without falling apart.  Even with the tremendous support I know I have, the days are still lonely and the nights are even worse.

On the positive, with a little help from my friends, I have almost all of the heavy furniture intot he new house.  It felt good when a few of my friends dropped into the new place today and it was so comfortable.  There are several rooms in the house that feel so homey and relaxing.  I can't wait to cook my kids dinner in the new place.

Regardless of the failures, I am determined to turn this around for all of us.