My normal, drama free zone (work) - was not that this week. Although it is my personal challenge to expect less from people; I can sometimes build up a hope. I may not even be aware of the hope until it is completely destroyed. I am allowing myself some time to explore this weeks happenings so I can let go of the hurt, disappointment and sadness.
My children, my happiness - over all had a good week. Two of my three have colds this weekend. I had worked out with their dad for them to go to his house this weekend on Saturday night. My teen son had plans and couldn't do it and my youngest, daughter, ended up with a horrible head cold. Even without those things there were bitching all week about having to go. I am so drained from being the middle man between them and their father. From him I don't see enough effort and from them I don't see the acknowledgment when he does make effort. I understand both sides and I try so hard to push them towards their father, but at some point it is going to be up to all of them to bridge the gap.
Best part of this week is I am getting to spend some time with a couple girlfriends that I completely trust. I don't have to watch what I say or how I say it. It is an open arena to be me, be free and be accepted. Exactly what I needed at the end of this week.
The two things I am not going to talk about today are my parents and my love life. These are the things that weigh the heaviest on me right now. I am going through every emotion you can think of and I just can't put it all into words yet. I can say this...I love my parents and I have truly felt loved this week.
One last thing - I have been asked a few times about my blog and where I get my material. For the new reader it may seem that I jump all over the place, but that is exactly what this forum is for me. I have written for years so I have poems, short stories, songs, recipes, etc that I have wanted to share. I am writing a book and I sometimes insert blubs from it to see if there is any interest. I also just go with my gut sometimes and write what is highest on my list of thoughts for the week. There are times when I start writing about one things and it turns into something completely different than I originally had planned. I am a person and I have a lot to share. I truly hope that something I have written about catches you and keeps you coming back to read more. Those of you that have reached out to me in one fashion or another - thank you. It means more to me than I could ever express.
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