Thank You Kelly B.

Taking back my life is a process.  I am saying that out loud for my own purposes.  I have to remind myself that it can't all happen over night.  It feels like I find out something new about myself every day.  A very special person in my life, Kelly, dedicated "Fight Song" to me a couple of months back.  Since that day I have listened to the song every day before I go to bed.

That small expression of support has held me up, moved me forward and kept me strong.  During a divorce you learn so much about yourself and the people that share your life.  I have lost friends, strenghtened friendships and found support in unexpected places.  I was so busy the past several years trying to prove I'm alright that I lost track of who I was and who I surrounded myself with.  This facade I created gave the outward appearance that I was always strong, independent and OK.  I wasn't.

When I married my husband it was forever.  The fact that I am the one that filed for divorce did not mean that it was easy for me.  It meant that I was finally pushed to far.  I would of stayed in my marriage forever had two things not happened.  First, my 10 year old daughter was cooking dinner with me one night and asked me "Mom - if I was with a boy that treated me the way Dad treats you would you want me to stay with him"?  Although I did not have the ability to answer her in that moment; it really made me think.  What was I teaching my daughter?  The second thing was the actions being taken against my children.  There was a point in time when I couldn't leave the house without getting a phone call from my children.  The dark negativity shadow was taking over my entire home and hurting my children.

It was those two details that shocked me back into reality and made me realize that I needed to protect my children...I still had a lot of fight left in me and I would use it all to keep them safe, healthy and happy.