I Am The Answer

It is so easy to fall back into old habits.  I am learning that I have real triggers that push me back to who I was "with him".  I find myself not liking who I see in the mirror, giving up on my healthy road and filling myself with self doubt.

Anyone that knows me will realize how odd this is for me.  I have allowed myself to love me again, I have no issue staying on my strict, healthy road and I am a pretty confident person.  My lonely struggle to make everything right for my children has hit me hard in the past month.  Add to that the news of my mothers poor health and I am immediately on overload.

You know what wall I continue to run into?  It is the wall of me refusing to ask for help when I need it.  It's as if I do not realize I require the help until I have fallen so deep, I become lost.  I become so focused on making sure no one sees my pain that I convince myself it isn't happening.

I am going to ask a favor from my readers.  If you see a change in my writing or notice a negative tone - call me out on it.  Send me a message, comment on a blog, whatever - just don't let me sink back down into a pit of UGH.

I deserve to work on me.  I am entitled to happiness.  I can live a life that is free of fixing him and concentrates on me.  I am not responsible for him.  I am responsible for me.  I am my children's teacher.  I am the answer.