I woke up this morning with the same damn headache I have had for the past week or so. I knew I had to find a resolution for my children when I am on vacation, Mondays are always a busy work day and I wanted to shut my phone off.
The morning started perfectly; I wish I could start every morning the way today began. I got up, got myself ready for zumba and work. As I drove to work I was racking my brain for options for the kids. I landed at work and got as much done as I could before heading to zumba. Zumba - I really feel like the time I spend at zumba should be considered a support group. When I let my Divas know what was going on they were all so supportive. Some of them were offering their time, some were offering ideas and others simply gave me the positive. 9 am hits and we are off and dancing; this has got to be the best feeling in the world. No matter what is going on, when that zumba music starts my body says "ok" and goes. Sadly, 10 am comes to soon and zumba has concluded for the day. On our way out I get more positive, supportive words from my crew.
Back to work I go in what I thought was a much better mood. Yes, I said "I thought". As I drove between stores I began to cry. While I was at zumba I could not stop my brain from spinning and I could feel my blood pressure rising. Unfortunately, I get a horrible pain in my left arm when my blood pressure rises, so I am completely aware when it is happening. I continue my drive wondering what is wrong with me that I am crying, alone in my car. Just then - my phone rings. I look down and see "Steve Zumba" on my screen. It was like my zumba friends could feel my need. Well, it was nothing that profound, he just saw me pass him on the road and decided to reach out. It was the perfect moment to rescue me from my own thoughts.
I am still searching my brain for solutions for my kids. I get to my 2nd work stop and I am greeted by the most amazing women. I knew long ago that I worked with some of the best people and friends ever. The owners of the company I work for have cultivated such a family atmosphere that some of us actually function like family. I give my two family members the short version of my ordeal. I asked one of them if she could help and guess what happened? Between these two beautiful, loving and caring women they are going to take turns being at my home with my children. I have never felt so grateful in a single moment ever. Not because I get to go on my vacation but because I have family that stepped up, in a manner that made me feel like they offered, not me asking. An enormous weight had been lifted from my shoulders, head and life.
I decided that I would go to therapy alone today, instead of taking my daughter with me. I had so many things to discuss that I have not exposed my children to yet. The whole, dad isn't going to help with his own kids when I'm gone and the health of my mother. I filled my therapist head with the whole of what I was looking at. I have never met a person, who is not my friend, that understands me the way she does. I was allowed to bleed out all of the issues. Leaving therapy I realized that my headache that I've had for so many days was weakening. My eyes were no longer crying for my sun glasses. Best of all - I was in a much better mood, for reals this time.
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