It always starts with my birthday. I think my kids hold in their fighting as well as they can all year, saving it up for the week of my birthday. They can't even walk by each other without saying some snide remark to each other. I know, I know...siblings do that, but there is a dramatic difference this time of year.
This is my first birthday since the divorce. Although I have the most amazing man in my life I have this horrible, lonely feeling. The weather right now is not helping either. It is 37 degrees out, you guessed it, perfect cuddle weather. Sadly I lay in my bed typing this with my 12 year old daughters dog under the blankets with me.
I decided to focus on the positive, not because I thought of it, but because my loving boyfriend told me that was what I needed to do. Tomorrow, my birthday, I will work, however I will start my day with my zumba family. We will dance joyously and then share a wonderful breakfast together. The only thing that makes it better? Mimosas, yes plural. I will get through my work day - these are the days I am so thankful that I love my job. Then tomorrow night - hockey with my girlfriend. We planned this a while back and I am really looking forward to it. Just describing that makes me feel silly for feeling low.
Saturday I have a couple of appointments and then my children and I are going to check out the new movie theater in town. I am sure we will catch some dinner and who knows what else. Sunday we will spend at home. My moms birthday was two weeks ago and I was sick so I plan to cook her dinner and, of course, watch football. Overall - a pretty nice weekend.
I wish...with all my heart that I was going to spend my birthday weekend with my boyfriend. He truly makes me enjoy ever moment. Instead I will be mindful of what we have, share every second we can and look forward to the birthdays we will have together in the future. I waited 40 years to find this man - I can wait a while longer for my big picture to be reality.
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