V-Day

Valentine's Day was a struggle for me.  I have never loved the holiday but I have always had someone to spend it with.  At some point yesterday I let myself get overwhelmed with negative feelings and cut out the world.  In my head I was thinking I just needed some time alone to figure out what my need was; I just felt lonely and empty.  The more I sat alone the worse I became.

I wish I could narrow down why the holiday bothers me so much.  I do not have a horrible Valentines Day story to share.  I don't have a horrible man that neglected me on that day.  I don't even have a time when the holiday went by without me feeling loved.  Realizing I was just being crazy I pushed through the holiday.

To avoid future negative Valentine Days I gave myself some help.  I must learn to recognize how much good I have in my world.  I am concurring so many dreams, my children love me, I have a job I love, friends that stick by me and most of all I have people in my life that are never afraid to tell me how important I am to them.  I feel supported, every day.  I need to bypass the head space where I allow the little things pile up on me.

Years ago my ex-husband and I decided we would only put out the energy to those that did the same to and for us.  I am going to return to that practice as it was the healthiest way to weed out and retain the right people.