When I was married, my ex husband and I would do it every few years. Even as adults you find yourself in friendships that are unhealthy. We would literally remove the negative from our life and just move forward. It always seemed to be the right decision.
At some point in our marriage we felt surrounded by negative. We had a couple that were divorcing because he had cheated, a couple that were divorcing for many reasons but the one that was revealed to most was that she had cheated, we had a couple that seemed miserable together but stuck it out and we had a couple that my husband believed was after me. It was an overwhelming period of time for me. Even looking back now it seems unreal to think about these five couples that all hung out only two of them are still married.
During these divorces I had to make many choices and even take sides. In the she cheated on him case - I did not want to take sides. I had been friends with him since 5th grade and she was one of my best friends. As things moved on in their divorce I was asked by him to pick a side. That simple question made the decision for me. I was perfectly capable of being friends with both parties. Walking away from that friendship was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I did not like to watch him suffer, yet I did not appreciate being put in the middle and then forced to make a choice between two close friends. I even took the time to try to get to know his new girlfriend at the time. She rubbed me the wrong way from the very first moment. She was so jealous of the history he and I had that she couldn't even function like a normal human being. I have known this man since I was in 5th grade, we are bound to have some inside jokes and many, many stories. She struck me as an insecure woman. If I had to hear about her student loans one more time I may of snapped.
The couple we were closest to made it very easy for us to pick a side. I do not even think my husband and I ever had a discussion about it, it was just the right thing. We supported her though it all. It was a situation you think happens to others or even on TV, but never so close to home. She could very well be the most intelligent friend I have, but when it comes to love our heart does not always handle things the way our head would. My role, as her friend, was to protect her in any way I could - sometimes that was just answering the phone. She, to this day, is one of women I have the most respect for.
Of course of all of these break ups my marriage was the biggest shock to me. I think back to those times and I feel like my husband and I were the strongest, most loving couple. We gave and received respect to each other, we both contributed in all ways to the household and there was no wandering eyes. It make me so sad to think of those times. I wish I could pin-point where it went wrong. Well, I guess if I was being honest I can pin-point that time. I just can't do anything about it now. I did not have the power to change how he saw himself and I could not allow the situation to continue. That will forever be the hardest part of my divorce - I didn't stop loving my husband, he just stopped feeling it.
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