Happy Place

Waking up in my own bed this morning was bitter sweet.  I was so ready to be back with my kids, but having to leave my happy place was difficult.  I have this terrible habit of acting stronger the weaker I feel.  I understand it is my protection mechanism, but it also puts me in situations where I wonder if others remember that I also have feelings and emotions.  You know, those times when you just want a hug, a smile or just some nice words, but they are positive that you are just fine.  

I never thought I would find an individual that knew how to be my friend before anything else.  A person that literally makes me feel good about myself.  More importantly, they make me feel completely loved and accepted.  I can have the worst day, the busiest day or the hardest day and I know they are there for me.  A person I want to wake up with and go to sleep with every day, and I do.  

I spent my vacation seeing frieds and family, introducing my life to him.  All of the things I adore about him are the same things my friends and family saw.  Not only that, but they saw me happy, us happy.  The littlest things were things my friends/family noticed.  How he was always near me or with me, but not clingy.  How he joked with us and included himself.  How he wasn't afraid to tell me know and how I accepted when he told me know.  How he is caring and loving towards me.  What girl wouldn't want those things to be visual for all?

I could not be more grateful to the open arms my friends and family gave him.  They included him, spoke with him, told him stories and just let him be part of it all.  I have the most amazing support system.  At a time when I thought I would be lonely and scared, I am feeling loved and free to be me.  I didn't always know this is what I wanted, but I know now that I deserve it.