Negative to a Positive

December 28, 2012

Today started out absolutely fantastic.  I even found the time to touch base with all of those I needed to thank or express my gratitude to for being part of my life in 2012.  I spoke to friends, I was productive and even received some very up lifting emails/text to start the day. 

Who knew that one simple action could tear me down completely.  I have really got to work on how I handle the way others view me.  I realize I should not care so much, however when it has to do with my work life, it matters to me.

Being strong has its draw backs.  Everyone thinks you can just be shit on and it will not matter because you are strong and will get over it.  NOT TRUE.  Those of us that take our professional life seriously, regardless how strong, take things to heart when they are said/done. 

I have often worked in industries where all of those around me are younger.  It usually means that most of my standards are not met.  I try to give enough that the change I require does not hit so hard.  There is always going to be those who just do not like change and those that are just to young to grasp that you can actually learn something from the change.  I have been told, at my newest job, that I bring a new level of professionalism here.  See, I think that is a compliment.  However, when you have those around you scared of that change or worried how it will affect them, it makes it hard.  These youngens are use to getting what they want because of the history or events.  It's time to take control of the business and not worry as much about the individual.  I understand this will be a process, but work with me people.

These are the days that I am happy that I began this blog.  This outlet does more for me than anything I can remember.  Therefore, instead of being upset by the actions today, I am going to grateful that I have this blog to keep me sane.

Positivity

December 21, 2012

There is something to be said for surrounding yourself with the right people.  The positivity around me is overwhelming.  You never really know who your friends, or even fans, are until you are in need of them.  I am happy to say my true friends have answered my need. 

It took me over 20 years to decide it was "OK" to share my poetry.  There is so much history and emotion wrapped up in the words that it was difficult for me to read, much less share with anyone else.  I honestly can't remember what the PUSH was for me to start the blog.  What I remember is the support I received once I made that decision.  Had today been the "end of the world" I would have zero regrets. 

The best news?  I have actually started work on my book.  I have started this book three, four, maybe five times (don't worry, names have been changed to protect the innocent).  While preparing to write this time I realized how much I had to say and share.  I have always been a believer in "Everything Happens for a Reason", that must mean that all of the events in my life happened for a reason.  It not only created who I am today, it led me to who I want to be.  Sharing it all can only be good therapy.

Thank you all for the support, love and positive energy you have shown me.  You will never know exactly how much it meant to me.

Close to Christmas

December 20, 2012

With five days until Christmas I am feeling anxious about the holidays.  Unlike Thanksgiving 2011, Christmas 2011 was a great holiday.  Where does the anxiety come from?  My thought is that it comes directly from me trying to be the protector of my family members.  I have spent all of 2012 working on how I handle things within myself.  I pray that it will help me in 2013.  I have tremendous difficulty when matters are not dealt with head on.  Therefore, in some of our family situations I am very uncomfortable.  What is that saying?  Elephant in the room?  That is it, there is an elephant in the room that EVERYONE is ignoring, however I can see it and hear it.  Very distracting. 

I am positive that my way of handling things is not for everyone.  I am also positive that I want my children to deal with feelings, emotions, issues, etc instead of ignoring them until they go away.  All of my children are strong, independent and opinionated.  Those are terrific characteristics if they are used in a positive manner.  Being "brutally honest", as my oldest son calls me, is not for everyone.  In my opinion, it is an Art.  An Art that is not appreciated by all.

So, my concentration will continue to be my children, my husband, my parents, my brother and his family and our friends.  Friends that fit in the definition we have created in our world.  I am incredibly grateful to be spending my holiday with my family.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

Recipe: Lemon Cake (My Favorite)

Ingredients

• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature, plus more for pans
• 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled), plus more for pans
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 tablespoon lemon zest
• 2 cups sugar
• 2 large eggs plus 3 large egg yolks
• 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
• 1 cup low-fat buttermilk
• 1 lemon, thinly sliced and seeded

 Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter and flour two 8-by-2-inch cake pans, tapping out excess flour. In a medium bowl, whisk flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and lemon zest.
2. In a large bowl, using an electric mixer, beat butter and 1 1/2 cups sugar until light and fluffy. With mixer on low, beat in eggs and yolks, one at a time. Beat in 2 tablespoons lemon juice. Alternately beat in flour mixture and buttermilk beginning and ending with flour mixture; mix just until combined.
3. Divide batter between pans; smooth tops. Bake until cakes pull away from sides of pans, 32 to 35 minutes. Let cool in pans 10 minutes. Run a knife around edges of pans and invert cakes onto a wire rack.
4. While cakes are baking, bring remaining 1/2 cup sugar and 1/2 cup water to a boil in a saucepan. Add lemon slices and simmer 25 minutes. Using a slotted spoon, transfer lemon slices to a waxed-paper-lined plate. Stir remaining 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice into syrup.
5. Using a toothpick, poke holes in warm cakes on rack. Brush with lemon syrup. Let cool completely. Prepare frosting, substituting 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice for vanilla extract. Frost cooled cakes and top with candied lemon slices.