How?

I absolutely refuse to believe this is the same man.  How can someone that shared so much of themselves completely cut everyone out and feel fine about it?  Who are they lying to? Themselves or us?

For many years it was a scare tactic.  Maybe if he feared losing me then he would fix the issues or at least work on them.  If he feared losing his children then maybe he would work harder on being involved and present.  Graduation was a hard day. So many parents exchanged words, hugs and laughter with me and did not even know the man sitting behind me was the other parent.

A penny for my thoughts he said.....he doesn't want to know what I am thinking anymore.  I have lost all positive feeling when it comes to him.  I have fought for him on all sides.  No one knows the things he has done because honestly, if the negativity would have stayed clear of my children then I would of stayed forever.

Words escape me.  I'm working on it.