Strength

Strength comes in many ways.  I always thought being hard and strong was the best way to show my strength and protect myself.  What I have now learned is that appearing to be the strong one leads to others being unaware or unconcerned about my feelings. 

I have a heart and feelings that are just as important and just as sensitive as others.  I may not break down and cry, I may not beg to get my way, but I will feel it. 

I try, really try not to react off of emotion; but my version of strength often creates a build up inside of me that explodes once I can't take anymore.

My new approach?  Sharing how I feel earlier.  I am positive that most that know me understand that no one likes it when I have time to stew.  I don't like it either.

My best friend has shown me what good communication brings.  That level of comfort is something I desire in all aspects of my life.

Strength doesn't mean taking everything on alone.  Sometimes it takes more strength to ask for help......

It Still Hurts

I think it is very hard lesson for all to learn:

Just because we initiate the change does not mean it was easier for us. 

There is so much behind those final decisions.  Who does it effect?  What is healthier for all parties? Can we live with the decision?

I have been blessed with support from all areas in my life.  I have wonderful friends (believe me, you find out who your friends are), amazing children  (they can think for themselves), strong family, an unmatched support group (my zumba family) and the most caring, loving and supportive best friend.

I don't always feel strong, but there is always one of these people there to remind me that I can do this. 

I refuse to be the victim.  I made these decisions and I made them for good reasons.  Every day may be hard, but I know it will get easier.  Why?  Because I am moving forward now, not back.  Now that is the most intelligent plan I could ever make.