For a person who feels like I do not make decisions based on how others feel about it, I like to form my own opinions and I even like to think that I don't try to keep up with the Jones' - people sure have the ability to hurt my feelings.
Don't get me wrong; if I have done something to someone and perhaps don't even really like them - I can let most things go. However, when there is someone in your life that you know what you did for them, how you treated them and how you felt about them and they purposely show anger or hatred towards me...that hurts.
I do not like to hear the "it is their problem, not yours" or "it was not their intention" because I would never do the same to them. There is no amount of hurt that I could feel that would make me walk around with that type of anger, strife and hatred. It is unhealthy.
I tried talking myself out of being hurt. Using the good old fall backs like "they don't matter", "they are just childish", etc, but to be completely honest - nothing is helping. The worst part is I feel myself pulling away from others in that circle because of the stress of it. I have been told that the following statement is dramatic, unfortunately, it is exactly how I am feeling - my heart hurts. I feel it weighing heavily inside of me.
The real struggle? Isn't walking around with this type of pain on my heart just as unhealthy as their anger and hatred?
